I was updating my new blog ( A2M@photobingkai ). While busy updating it. I read a blog. A conversation between a woman, Bedah and her friend, Milah. The conversation was about feelings, respect, appreciation and thankful. I got eager to read it. Because it sounds interesting. So, the conversation sounds like this :
Bedah has a problem. Where her bf are much different than she has ever known. They are in relationship for almost 5 years. Bedah got no one to share her sadness. So, she shared with her close friend, Milah. Bedah got fight with her bf. She said that she feels like her bf doesn't appreciate of her. Bedah wants him to spend a good time with her. She said. Everytime she spend time with him. At first things went well. Laugh. They started a good conversation until her bf started to open something that offended her. She couldn't defends herself with all his words. She stayed silent. She said after 5 years of relationship. She knew his style. Defends herself in raising up her opinion. Isn't getting her relationship goes well. Obey and respect his voice were the answers.
Bedah even said. Whenever she wanted to share her hard day with him. He sort of like Like I Bother. But she stayed strong. That is why she hardly shared her hard time with him. Because she knew, he couldn't bother. She shared almost every happiness in her life to him. She said he is working. She knows that he is tired and busy. So she give her heart a strong wall of bricks to not to spoil his day by hearing her problems.
There was one time. She wanted him to be there whenever she falls. Just because of his tiredness. She accidentally expressed her feelings towards him with all accusation and redemption on him. And end up to be called a moron. She felt guilty. She pujuk him back. Because don't want to loose him. She loves him so much. It looks like she forget her feelings and her happiness. Just for him.
She loves him so much. She wanted him to feel that she is the only one he could ever want it. She said "he did. He do love me". But whenever fights. He couldn't care about her. And he said she deserve the treat more than never. Ouch! She worried that his man may slip away. So she bowed lower herself. And begged his man to not to go.
She admit. There is a lot of harsh words came from his mouth. Due to her attitude. She pushed him too hard. Just to know things that she don't know. According to him that she disrespect him as a man. She still wanting him. Because she knows that one day. He will change. That is why she keep standing still in loving him.
Bedah even said that she isn't a good gf anyway. She pushed him. She accused him. But with all of that. What I read. She said she deserve the treat.
She said that he admit. He hates her a lot. Never listen to him. She down. And she said whatever comes from him. She admit. Sometimes she do hate him too. But unable to tell him that. She feels sad if she hates him. Because before this. He once told her that. There is a time where people doesn't appreciate him. He came from a broken family. He don't have anybody to care and love him. Sometimes, his friends took advantage on him. He feel sad and unappreciated. That is why she unable to tell him that she hates his words to her. Because she wanted him to feel that she is the only one he can feel appreciated and love. So she back down. She forget her sadness. Just wanted to make her man happy. So, she swollen the feelings of hate towards him inside. And keep it tightly. Without slipping it away. "He also wanted to break up with me". she begged him not to.
She loves him and wanted him to appreciate and feels she is the only one for him. But he seems forget his place. But still she loyal to him. She has been cursed and mocked. She still wanted him.
Kesian kot dekat Bedah ni.
With all the time spending with her friend listening to it. Milah said this :
Let Allah do HIS work, dear. Be patience. If you still love him. That is what you decide. Keep on praying good thing to your love ones. Perhaps, HE is testing both parties to feel the pressure of HIS test. See how loyal actually you to HIM. Not you to him. HE wants HIS ummah to put strong faith on HIM. Not to him. Bedah, this is just the beginning. HE won't simply give things that can't be manage by HIS ummah
I wasn't teaching you. Is just that. As a woman. It is true we need to obey husband for jannah. Tell me, how to obey if he disrespect us? Men put the afford to find a good women for future life. But if he himself couldn't deal a test that has been given by Allah. How can he leads you to jannah? If one day he got married. His wife did mistake where he sees hers but not his. Do he needs to say Aku ceraikan ko talak 1 or 2 or 3? If he did that. then problems come. The next wife did the same mistake like his ex-wife. Sampai bila nak main talak? Bukan laki patut bimbing kita ke? If he knows he is a man. He should have know his duty as a man. A leader. At the same time. Change yourself to be a better muslimah. Tak rugi apa-apa pun jadi muslimah baik di mata ALLAH kan? Untung ko juga. Think about it.
That was it. Short but deep. Hope Bedah is doing okay. Milah is a good friend. Cam dalam cerita Setia Hujung Nyawa :
Kalau tak merasa derita, takkan rasa nikmat bahagia.
Bear in mind!
Be strong, woman! Lets be a good muslimah. For sure will be happy forever. Peace!
Wassalam..
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